Can Label: A Parody

A little imagination and dreams of domestic perfection ...
all packaged up in an appealing can that will look good in your pantry.

 
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Directions

Irritated by unbalanced flower arrangements? Or imperfections in general? Martha's Mix may be used to improve just about anything! Make a thick paste and rub gently onto your husband's bald spot for a satiny shine! Feed a tablespoonful a day to sulky teens and marvel at their erect posture, clear skin, courtly manners and blond hair. A tablespoon of Martha's Mix is guaranteed to make a batch of gingerbread cookies line up on your cookie sheet like little soldiers!

Contents

Domestic fantasies, wire strippers, used lettuce wrappers, antique cookie cutters, rare Auracana chicken eggs, flavored vinegars, savvy marketing strategies, pressed flower petals, status symbols, hot glue, and and artificial coloring in soothing, tasteful pastel hues.

 

It's a Good Thing - Before and After

After one week's application, this ordinary housewife was well on her way to perfection.

 

 

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